Health is wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul; their alignment with one another is the art of living well.


Wisdom is understanding of the self, others, and the nature of things; it is essential to  living as if everything is a miracle.
Controlling Anger

Anger or rage is an ineffective and inefficient way to resolve or make any issue or problem go away. It is an emotion that may lead to depression, if it is not properly addressed.

Donna Alexander created the "anger Room" in Chicago, a space where anyone -- of  course, after paying a fee -- can lash out rage by smashing and destroying objects like glass or even a TV without serious consequences. The room can also be set up to look like an office or a kitchen, where anger often becomes uncontrollable.

The Downside

Can you really hold off your anger until after you have checked in at the “Anger Room”?

If you are so accustomed to smashing and destroying objects at the “Anger Room”, could you still restrain yourself from doing the same when your anger is sudden and unmanageable in the office or the kitchen?

Fatal Rage

Near the end of 2016, a road rage occurred in Arkansas, ending in the death of a 3-year-old boy.

A woman, with her 3-year-old grandson sitting at the back of her car, stopped at a stop sign. A man in the car right behind honked at her, and the woman honked back; the road rage then began with the man firing a gun shot at the woman’s car, and ended in tragedy.

Controlling Anger

So, how to control your anger?

Conventional wisdom

According to conventional wisdom, use distraction to defuse and dissipate the anger or rage.

Thomas Jefferson famously said, "When angry, count 10, before you speak; if very angry, 100."

TAO wisdom

According to the TAO wisdom, the ancient wisdom from China based on the sage Lao Tzu’s book Tao Te Ching, do the following:

Take a deep breath, review the situation, and ask yourself a simple question: what is the original purpose of driving your car-to get to your destination, or to get angry?

Do not hold your anger in; instead, let it go. But do not let it go as pain; instead, let it go as your acceptance. Your acceptance should be viewed as a statement of your own communication to yourself that getting to your destination is more important than getting angry. After all, nothing lasts,  not even anger.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

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Your “prayers not answered” means your “expectations not fulfilled.” The TAO wisdom explains how and why: your attachments to careers, money, relationships, and success “make” but also “break” you by creating your flawed ego-self that demands your “expectations to be fulfilled.” Click here to get your book.