HEALTH
Health is wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul; their alignment with one another is the art of living well.

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WISDOM
Wisdom is understanding of the self, others, and the nature of things; it is essential to  living as if everything is a miracle.
Wisdom to Cope with Grief and Bereavement

After the loss of a loved one, an individual may become so busy with taking care of the funeral and other things that there is hardly any time for grief and bereavement.

Feelings of anger, guilt, remorse, or shame are emotional bag and baggage that come with sorrow and suffering that have to be cope with and overcome.

Sorrow and suffering must go through three stages before there is any healing or redemption from emotional pain:

Stage of numbness

The sorrow and suffering may be so sudden or profound, such as bereavement or tragedy, that one becomes numbed with shock or disbelief.

Stage of real pain

After the initial numbness, reality begins to sink in, followed by real emotional pain. In this critical stage, there is a human tendency to deny or avoid the sorrow and suffering, as demonstrated by Jesus’ own pleading: “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me.” (Matthew 26:39)

Stage of recovery

Healing or redemption from painful emotions takes place only when one lets sorrow and suffering run their natural courses until one is able to not only experience the associated emotions and feelings but also express and share them with others to complement the healing process. Hence, connections with God and with others hold the key to recovery from emotional pain.

Wisdom to cope with grief and bereavement

If an individual refuses to feel these painful emotions, they are not buried for good, and they are still there. To revert to the initial stage of numbness, that individual may choose distractions, such as overwork, sex, alcohol, or drugs. Thus, a vicious circle of numbness and emotional pain will continue, because the three stages of sorrow and suffering have never been fully experienced and completed.


Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

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Grief
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bereavement